i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm both gender and math confused
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
