Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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