Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
