Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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