Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
