we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
