Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
