you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
