i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
