What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
