Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
