You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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