I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
