so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize