I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
3pm strippers are depressing
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize