My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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