I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Randomize
