You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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