Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
