FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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