How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
