She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There's always time for handjobs
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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