Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
