turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
