i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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