In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
