oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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