My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He kissed a someone with a penis
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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