No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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