I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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