We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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