I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
