i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
