Don't you send me to vm
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
