Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
They have beer where we have blood.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
