I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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