Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You are a genius and a whore.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
