The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
