her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
