I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
