I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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