I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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