Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize