mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize