Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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