Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
