Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize