Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
