you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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