Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
