My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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