I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
this hospital has no fireball
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
