there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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