Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
