you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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