Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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