I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
