in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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