awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
