..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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