we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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