I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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